Sunday, March 26, 2006

Insomnia

The room is lit with only the light from my laptop. I don’t know what woke me up today. The whistling of the wind or a nightmare or an over speeding car or just a cop car. I looked outside the window, across the street. At 3 in the morning things looked serene. There were no people running around going to places to doing things they have to do. No hustle-bustle in the small shopping complex. The calmness almost scared me. How ironic. A small sound wakes me from my peaceful slumber and at the same time the lack of any sound scares me. I turn on TV and start flipping channels. My mind is as chaotic as the cartoon show that’s coming on TV. I try sorting my thoughts for the first time in months. They are trapped in oblivion unscathed by acceptance or fantasy. Accepting for what I am and fantasizing for what I could’ve been. It suddenly occurred to me that I categorized it as ‘fantasy’ not as ‘dream’. I felt my eyes burning. I wondered if it was because I hadn’t had a decent sleep for months now or if I was tearing up. I chuckled. I don’t do crying jigs. A melancholic feeling washed over me. I didn’t bother to switch off TV or my laptop. I waited for dawn to arrive.

Posted by Sookie :: Sunday, March 26, 2006 :: 9 Comments:

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